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Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week

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This week in tweets, it’s all about learning how to Marie Kondo, prepping for all those Valentine’s Day cards and the general navigation of parenthood. As usual, our tribe of Twitter parents are keeping it real, and keeping us laughing.

Keep scrolling to see our fave tweets from this last week.

1. We can’t wait until you have kids of your own.

Friend without kids: At least after all that activity, your kids will be so exhausted they won’t fight bedtime.

Me: Bahahahahaha.

2. Please and thank you.

I don’t know who needs to see this, but have your kid start signing Valentine’s Day cards now because that shit takes forever.

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 21, 2019

3. ::sigh::

Me: I just wanna know if I’ll ever get to the point where I’ll feel like I know what I’m doing as a parent?

Magic 8-Ball: Outlook not so good

— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 22, 2019

4. On Marie Kondo-ing with the kiddos:

“Ok, since you guys have no school today and it’s too cold to do anything outside, we’re going to organize your books &toys and get rid of anything you don’t use anymore!”

– me, being the fun mom I always knew I would be

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) January 21, 2019

5. Pretty sure they’re in cahoots with makers of hot dogs and hot dog buns.

Sorry there are 26 kids in your daughter’s class and Valentines come in boxes of 24.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 23, 2019

6. When even their “inside voice” is still too loud.

No one makes more observations than a child sharing a stall with his mother inside a public restroom.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 22, 2019

7. Obvs.

One thing I underestimated about being a parent is just how responsible you become.

Like when my 9yo stubs his toe on a piece of furniture that has been in the same place for 2.5 years.

That’s my fault for putting it there. Obviously.

8. So fun.

The end of your pregnancy is fun because it’s like, “Am I in labor or is this excruciating pain from standing up too fast?”

— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) January 23, 2019

9. It’s no hot stone massage, that’s for sure.

My son was just driving Hot Wheels up and down my back, and honestly, that’s the closest thing to a massage I’ve had since becoming a parent.

— Accidental Super Mom (@AcciSuperMom) January 24, 2019

Marie Kondo: Does this item spark joy?

Daughter: YES!

Marie Kondo: Oookay… um, this paper cup from 3 weeks ago?

Daughter: Yes! It’s my favorite!

Marie Kondo: *holding up a broken crayon* Does this item spark joy?

Daughter: Yes!

Marie Kondo: *in tears* This popped balloon?

Photo by Ryan McGuire via Gratisography; composite by Karly Wood for Red Tricycle

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